ztx-hyby-pjq

00:00
Speaker 1
Swept Sam Boyd Stadium where if the wind was 5 miles an hour, anywhere in Vegas was 450 miles an hour.

00:07
Speaker 2
I like that stadium for executive.

00:09
Speaker 1
I do too. It was yeah. If it was like 70 degrees in the rest of Vegas, they would be in scarves on the sidewalk. It was 48 below here. Sam Boyd Stadium. A wormhole within wormholes of climate.

00:22
Speaker 2
Duke Guy has showed up to fight. Fight through the legions of hell here in Sampoint Stadium.

00:28
Speaker 1
Some shit from Annihilation has happened.

00:33
Speaker 2
A mirror bear is here on the field. It's not a mirror bear.

00:37
Speaker 1
It's not that mean. It's just loud. Your gift bag has been your torso reach in. It's always been there. The Las Vegas Bull, by the way, do you know the payout on this game? It's surprisingly fast. It's a $2.9 million payout for this game, which they got to unload.

01:00
Speaker 2
They're trying real hard to make this game not seem like it's low rent anymore.

01:03
Speaker 1
And they're succeeding.

01:04
Speaker 2
The Golden Nugget has a water slide that goes through its own shark tank. What do you people want?

01:10
Speaker 1
That's true. I'm being spoiled.

01:13
Speaker 2
Downtown Vegas is great.

01:16
Speaker 1
I wanted to include for the next bowl, the Hawaii Bowl. This is my favorite.

01:22
Speaker 2
Speaking of weather patterns all their own and inexplicable 90 miles an hour. Gust.

01:31
Speaker 1
Let'S do some legalities here, okay? Maybe the Hawaii Bull owes you money, okay? Maybe you would like to serve process against the Hawaii Bull for, I don't know, building a fence three inches over on your property. Maybe you've just got beef with them and you want to fight. That's where I'm here to tell you. The Hawaii Bowl is not the Hawaii Bowl. The Hawaii Bowl is not affiliated with those other bowl games that may have infringed upon your rights or otherwise trespassed upon you. There have been like 5000 different Hawaii Bowls, and evidently all of them were some sort of money laundering scheme that this one has to disavow itself from.

02:16
Speaker 2
How are they doing this?

02:17
Speaker 1
The Hawaii Bowl not affiliated with other bowl games previously staged in Hawaii. The poi bowl from 36 to 39. Not me.

02:25
Speaker 2
The pineapple bowl.

02:26
Speaker 1
Not me. Not me. The Aloha Bowl from 1982 to 2000. No, don't know him. Don't know her. Don't know them. Not me. The oahu bowl from 98 to 2000. Negatory. Keep it moving. Maybe you think about the Hulu All Star Game from 1960 to 2008. Oh, but resumed in 2020, you fuck. Resumed in 2020. Back from the dead. Everything else is canceled, but fortunately, we have the fucking Hula Bowl.

02:59
Speaker 2
More outside this plane.

03:01
Speaker 1
Just like me from my grave when Ryan puts those little potato ropes on. Nope, came back. Maybe you'd be like, hey, Hulu Ball owes me. No, don't know. Keep it moving. It ain't my problem. By the way, the Aloha Bowl tried to move to San Francisco, but was decertified by the AA like they hit the mainland and they were. And the Oahu Bowl tried to change its name to the Seattle Bowl, but it lost its certification once they caught up to it. Why are Hawai Bowls all acting like.

03:41
Speaker 2
Have they packed? The entire bowl turns onto a semi. They're just literally staying, just trying to get across these lines ahead of the Federal Hawaii Bowl. Needs to crash on your couch for a month. Capadra, are they land racing this thing?

03:56
Speaker 1
I love that this sort of reveals that there is actually nothing to a bowl game. It's not like they're bringing fucking props.

04:04
Speaker 2
Jason, a bowl is an idea, right?

04:06
Speaker 1
Like freedom.

04:08
Speaker 2
It lives in here.

04:10
Speaker 1
Evidently not. Evidently a bowl is a guide that you can arrest or indefinite. When it comes to the Hawaii Bowl, it's a guy you can't arrest.

04:21
Speaker 2
That's right.

04:21
Speaker 1
I don't know where he is.

04:23
Speaker 2
You all know John Jumper is working in sports again, right? Good for him.

04:26
Speaker 1
Yeah. I will say this, he did do his time.

04:31
Speaker 2
He blogged it now. Oh, God. We were born ten years too early.

04:37
Speaker 1
Of all the games. So this Hawaii bowl?

04:42
Speaker 2
No, I agree with your interpretation. Never going to be in a white snake video. Born too late to be a really corrupt bowl executive.

04:53
Speaker 1
This Hawaii Bowl, which, by the way, has gone straight, is definitely not just grown a goatee and dyed his hair and taken not the same one because it's sponsored by an API company. That's right. When one website uses another website, that's how you know that it's definitely not just a spoofed copy of another Hawaii Ball. They decided to set a record for this ball, at least by inviting a team the furthest distance away from any other team that's ever played here. Coastal Carolina, baby. Is that true? Maybe in a bowl game, but not.

05:32
Speaker 2
I know there are.

05:37
Speaker 1
This edition of.

05:38
Speaker 2
The Hawaii which was not married to Donna. I don't care what she says, that was not me. How they can convince everyone they need to make themselves an.

05:49
Speaker 1
Yeah, and they'll make a lot of money, too. I will tell you, though, why would they invite Coastal Carolina? A team that we have, I believe previously somewhat jokingly, but maybe not accused of being some sort of tax dodge. I'm just saying, watch your at. Look at these crooks. Check the cargo.

06:09
Speaker 2
Maybe they're getting a crew together.

06:10
Speaker 1
Yes. A team which comes closest to being a racketeering conspiracy in the making is this year's Hawaii Bowl. Yeah, 100%. Because it's coastal Carolina versus San Jose State. The Crime Lords of San Jose combining with Conway, South Carolina and with Hawai brother. I have seen this Hawaii Bowl and I believe in two months it will be seen at large in Macau, China. This is San Jose. Crimes are like getting lean. Banding it so that you can get arrested for.